Red flags for dating a loser
What I can assure you of is that their unavailability isn’t sparked by something you said or did, it’s not that they’ve ‘changed’ and that you need to find the right ‘access code’ and you’re definitely not going crazy; they’re More often than not, the primary issue that women focus on is the emotional unavailability but there are always physical and spiritual issues to prop it up.
Mr Unavailable isn’t a Bad Boy per se and has nice qualities, which is what keeps the millions of women lingering around.
If you find one sign, you’ll find many, but often one sign is enough and you should use this to evaluate whether this is the type of relationship that you actually want to be involved in because each and every one of these signs, especially when more than one of them exists, spell pain and trouble. Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.
As much as women hate to admit it, y’all are primarily selected visually when it comes to dating. 😀 If his relationship ended because his girl’s visual type changed (she was chunky and got too skinny… she had long, red, curly hair and then cut most of it off, straightened it and dyed it blonde…), he’s definitely going to be looking to upgrade, or at least in Photoshop terms, he’d like to “Revert to last saved version”.
To be fair – most people have ‘nice qualities’ and of course, as humans, we’re very good at rustling up qualities and seeing the best in people.
This isn’t a bad quality but what we forget is that somebody’s availability and their ability to commit isn’t about ‘nice qualities’.
Please also note that posts have been gender neutral since autumn 2010.** In my book Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, I share some of the most common signs and behaviours that indicate that you’re involved with a Mr Unavailable – an emotionally – and often spiritually and physically – unavailable man.
When you look at the pattern of your relationship, you will notice that it always, no matter how much blowing hot he does, rolls back to his comfort zone.
If his relationship with her happens to end and he gets back in The Game, he’s going to be looking for the traits he visually enjoys.
He likes how your body has ample curves or it doesn’t. There are definitely other things he likes about you, like personality, intelligence, wit, earning potential… If he selects a gal to spend time with, it’s PROBABLY because he likes how she looks.
Then again, being around a gal that reminds him of his ex could easily trigger flashbacks for him to jacked-up situations that occurred between them. It’s pretty weird and I can’t explain it, but I remember stumbling upon a video blog by a female that looked very much like my ex, except younger than when she and I were together.
It felt like a prequel, haha like how X-Men Origins: Wolverine was supposed to be before X-Men, but was actually filmed 9 years later.